Bizarre Historical Gender Predictions That Went Too Far

If you think baby gender predictions are a modern obsession, think again.

History is full of bizarre, sometimes downright dangerous attempts to influence whether you’d have a boy or a girl. And let’s be clear: none of these actually worked. But people were willing to try, well everything. One of the most extreme? In the 18th century, some men who desperately wanted a boy would cut off their left testicle. Yep. Self-castration was considered a surefire way to guarantee a son. Imagine the trust in medical advice back then, because there was zero technology to prove it wrong. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.

Other methods were a little less… permanent. Some future parents turned to bread: only eat the ends of a loaf for a boy, or the middle for a girl. This one probably led to a lot of wasted bread. And coffee lovers, rejoice, or maybe don’t: one theory claimed men who drank coffee before conception were more likely to have a boy. The ancient Romans had their own spin, like tying up the family jewels instead of cutting anything off. Other people believed the direction of the wind or your bed could determine a baby’s sex: north for boys, south for girls. Families reportedly moved their beds around like chess pieces in hopes of scoring the desired outcome.

Then there were the parsley and goose grease theories. According to one revered Roman medical authority, placing parsley on a woman’s head could influence the baby’s sex depending on the first person she spoke to. For boys, couples were instructed to rub the woman’s body with goose grease for two days and then have relations on the third. Goose grease, by the way, is literally the fat from a goose, historically used in both cooking and medicine. Other odd advice included hiding a spoon under the bed for a girl or having men drink cola for boys.

Honestly, the castration theory still takes the prize for sheer commitment, it’s hard to top a method you can’t undo. Tying something up? That’s reversible. Eating bread oddly? Relatively safe. Cutting off a testicle? Not so much. It’s fascinating to see how far people would go to try and control the uncontrollable. Today, most expectant parents just let nature take its course, probably a lot less stressful (and painful). But looking back, it’s hard not to be amazed at the creativity, and commitment, of historical baby gender “science.”

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